Response to classmate's journal, Week 2

Laura,
I love the possiblities of this draft. I particularly like the line: “At the door of the house, who will come knocking?” and “A wind from a distant autumn is trying to rise.” It may be later in Triggering Town, or perhaps another poet/critic said that if you ask a question in a poem you should never answer it (the source of this quote escapes me). I think that these are the two most vivid and detailed lines from your draft that give exact images. One suggestion that would make would be to play with the order of words in these lines to make them more active and less passive. How about instead if the lines read: Who knocks at the door? And “From a distant autumn tries to rise.” If you eliminate gerrunds it helps keep words active.